Mess
by Heeroluva
Summary: Meka's death doesn't hit really hit Danny until after the funeral. Danny/Steve preslash


Title: Mess  
Author: heeroluva  
Pairing: Danny/Steve pre-slash  
Contains: h/c  
Spoilers: Coda for 1.08 Mana'o  
Summary: Meka's death doesn't hit really hit Danny until after the funeral.  
Notes: Second WIP done today. Most of this was actually written (by hand!) back in November when this ep premiered. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.

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The realization that Meka was really dead and gone didn't hit Danny until after the funeral when he was alone in the apartment. He'd always been one to make fast friends, but they rarely turned into close one, ones that he thought would last and could count to cover his back. With Meka, he'd just clicked. From the start, it had been as though they'd known each other for years. Other cops had commented on it, how it was as though they'd been partners for longer than the short few months they'd been paired together.

That friendship hadn't faded when Danny had joined the Five-0 task force. And now Meka was gone. With the loss of the anger and the need to clear Meka's name that had fueled him, Meka's death hit Danny hard. Before he realized what he'd done, the half empty beer bottle in his hand explored against the wall that he had hurled it at, sending glass shards and golden liquid everywhere. Dimly noting on some level that that was going to be a bitch to clean up, he picked up the picture that Meka's wife – widow, he corrected – had given him as he was leaving the house.

Suddenly clasping the picture to his chest, Danny fell to his knees, and curled, forward sobbing over it. He wasn't sure how long he knelt hunched into himself before he finally calmed. Slowly he unclenched his white fingers from the edges of the frame and straightened before carefully placing the picture face down on the counter.

Scrubbing his hands across his face, Danny sighed wearily. He hadn't expected this, not here, not so soon. It was never easy to lose someone, but it was especially horrible when it was a friend that was sold out by one of his own. Sighing again, Danny headed towards the bathroom, while quickly stripping out of his clothes not caring where they fell.

Turning the hot water up all the way, he watched as the room filled with steam before steeping under the hard spray, not flinching as the too hot water hit him. Danny needed the distraction, letting it numb him and pretending for the moment that all his problems were washing down the drain with the water swirling down the pipe.

However, Danny was a realist and knows that running from his problems weren't going to make them disappear, that pretending that nothing was wrong wasn't going to make Meka be alive again. Danny quickly washed, not even bothering with shampoo, just running the bar of soap through his hair. Rinsing the soap off, he shut off the water and grabbed a towel as he stepped out of the shower, wiping himself down with it.

Toweling his hair dry, the door suddenly burst open, causing him to jump and drop his towel. Spinning quickly, Danny suddenly found himself face to face with a gun. Raising shocked eyes to Steve's, Danny scowled. "What the hell, man. Put that thing away. What's gotten into you?"

Steve's arm quickly dropped, but Danny's scowl deepened as he watched Steve's eyes rake over his naked form. He wasn't embarrassed, and had nothing to hide. The corner of Danny's mouth twitched in amusement when Steve realized what he was doing. The tips of Steve's ears reddened and he quickly dropped his eyes before turning away.

"Shit, sorry, man. I was worried. You weren't answering your phone. I stopped by and the door was unlocked and I come in it find broken glass all over floor. What was I supposed to think?"

Danny bent down and grabbed the towel he had dropped, wrapping it securely around his waist and fought the rising anger. He knew Steve had been genuinely worried, but it came out so needy and Danny couldn't deal with that right now. Steve turned, hearing Danny's soft footsteps. "You want to know what you're supposed to think, Steve?" Danny pushed forward, crowding into Steve's space. "They just buried my friend today, a friend that was set to take the fall for some dirty cops. Maybe I wanted a little peace and quiet, maybe I'm angry, and tired, and not thinking right."

Danny laughed mockingly at himself, a self-depreciating sound. "It's not always about you, Steve."

Steve looked ready to resort, but Danny just kept on.

"If I hadn't accepted your offer, if I'd have stayed at the PD, Meka might still be alive. If only I'd— If I hadn't—" Danny broke off and swallowed thickly, not wanting to cry.

Steve blanched white at his words and grasped Danny's bare arms. "Shit, Danny. I know. You can't go down those roads. The 'what if's won't bring him back. They'll just make you crazy. If you'd stayed that could have been you in that pit. Jesus, Danny. I can't even bear to think of that. There's nothing you could have done. There was no way you could have known. We got them, Danno. They're going away for life."

Danny looked over Steve's shoulder, not able to look at him. Steve was right, he knew, but that didn't make his heart hurt any less. When Steve suddenly pulled him close, he tense in the circle of his arms. But it was too much, had been too long since someone had touched him with any sort of care, and Danny found himself relaxing into Steve's warmth, breathing in his scent.

He hadn't meant to, wasn't sure when he started, but at some point Danny realized that the shoulder under his head was wet with tears and Steve just held him. It should have been awkward or embarrassing or _something_, but when Danny finally pulled away the look that Steve gave him was full of understanding.

"Go get dressed, take a nap, I'll clean this up," Steve gestured towards the glass on the stained carpeting, "and order us some pizza. We can watch a game or see if there's a movie worth watching?"

Danny nodded jerkily, wiping the remaining tears from his face. This was familiar, normal. He needed that now, and he was glad that Steve understood that. Entering his bedroom, he dropped the towel in the hamper and pulled on a pair of boxer-brief before climbing under the covers, suddenly wiped. Meka may have been gone, but Danny would never forget him, what he had meant to him. Meka wouldn't have wanted them to mourn for him, just remember him. And it reminded him of the friends he still had, the friends he took for granted.

Danny drifted off to sleep with a smile as Steve's curses met his ears.


End file.
